Showing posts with label MS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MS. Show all posts

Saturday, May 07, 2011

DIET Verses "DIET" how we use a word changes its meaning

1. 
what person or animal eats: the food that a person or animal usually consumes
2. 
controlled intake of food: a controlled intake of food and drink designed for weight loss, for health or religious reasons, or to control or improve a medical condition
"a wheat-free diet"
3. 
regular intake of something: a continuous or daily experience of, or indulgence in, something other than food
"living on a diet of soap operas and game shows"
ADJECTIVE 
1. 
designed or promoted for weight loss: describes a food or drink that is intended for people trying to lose weight, usually because it is low in calories or fat, or contains a sugar substitute
"a diet soda"

Above is the definition found in the dictionary for the word diet. Just to let everyone out there know that when I reference the word diet in my blogs I am not referring to the meaning I have highlighted in pink. I use the term diet to represent those highlighted in blue. I have been fortunate in my life as to never having to diet in the respect to loose weight. If anything I have usually been under weight and had to use means to put weight on. The use of steroids also were not steroids to assist in body building to build mass of muscle or increase stamina, the steroids I used in the past were prescribed by my doctor to correct a spell from the MS being flared up. Or at least take the edge off of the problem. I do not advocate any type of dieting or binging or use of steroids. I am a believer in totally natural means of controlling your health with wholesome foods for nutritional value, exercise and the use of supplements to maintain and assist in keeping or getting your overall health in line to give you a better quality life.
My motto is Live Life Fully & Abundantly so UCanBeWell4Ever! So please if any of you have taken my blog the wrong way and are thinking I use steroids for body building means or take diet supplements please understand this is not my message. Nutrition, prayer and supplements helped me get into a remission once before 19 years ago and that is my goal again. 

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Last Visible Sign of Steroids Gone....

I am so happy to see my smile lines on the sides of my mouth come back! My little chubby face is going away! All the visible traces of steroids are behind me now. I earned those lines. They give me character. I missed them. Now the person I see in the mirror is more like me. I am a happy lady. 
So done with the steroids last Friday...it has taken 1 week to return to normal for me. Let's hope they have not done any inside damage. 
A new symptom has taken control though. My right foot went numb over the past weekend. I started walking with a friend early in the week, the evening of the second day of our walk I had severe leg and foot cramps in both legs and feet that evening. It has left me with tightened muscles in leg and upon walking I now have a bit of a limp which will not leave. When telling the doc in April when I had a checkup that I was starting to get severe muscle spasms again he cut me short and said he was not concerned about that. He offered no help but to send me for PT 2x a week which actually tires me out and causes cramping in feet. Time maybe to fire him. Does anyone out there know of a good, reputable doc in the Pittsburgh area who handles MS cases? If you do please leave his name in the comment section. I have begun looking, not just for this reason but for several other reasons which are being made clear to me that it is time to move on. A person under a doctors care for 27 years should not have to endure such things when there are other meds available. I am doing all natural remedies but at times you just need something to get inside of you strong enough to get you past the pain. There is no need for undue suffering in my opinion. But, what do I know? I am not a doctor, but I do know MS since it has lived with me for 27 years. And I do know he could have handled the situation a bit better and perhaps I would not be in this shape right now. 
Happy Weekend Everyone......

Friday, April 29, 2011

DIET.....SUPPLEMENTS....MS

A very good link  (CLICK ON IT ) I came across this article today. If you do have MS or know of someone who does this may help you. As you know I am an advocate for using healthy eating and supplements to aid any type of illness which attacks our bodies. But we must make sure we do not exceed what our bodies require as then we could cause damage. Please seek a nutritionist if you are planning to use supplements along with your medication. I maintained a remission for nearly 19 years by using my healthy eating habits and supplements. Other health conditions which came to visit me over the years have played some roll in having my MS come out of remission along with stress of all sorts in life. But I haven't given up that foods and vitamins can heal our bodies. And oh yes, prayer works wonders also. Prayer brings a peace to you which is a great stress reliever. 
My moto is "if you don't move it, you loose it". So I push to keep moving, but I also have learned how to give in to when the little voice inside my head says "rest, you are allowed to rest". Guilt in resting too much is something I have had to deal with since my MS has come out of the remission. Sometimes people make me feel guilty about resting. But then I need to tell myself.....I am the only one who controls how I feel....not others....I am the one who makes myself feel guilty. Don't battle with yourself....rest when you need to. Then you will have some sort of energy to do what you want, or at least what you are able to do. If we listen to our bodies it can help us. 
Fatigue is our bodies telling us to stop and recharge. Don't push fatigue.....I have done this and it only makes you feel worse.
Enjoy your weekend!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Walking made me remember this home remedy ...(recipe for oil for spasms)

So 5 days into no tiny, tiny pills.....weight dropped significantly...old body is coming back to live with me.....funny how such tiny pills can blow your body up and let you feel uncomfortable in your own skin. POISON.....I hope to not need to take this road again anytime soon. Steroids are very hard on your body.  Vision is still blurry on and off, but no pain in eye. Other MS symptoms still reek havoc on my body on a daily basis. Just a constant reminder to me that I need to kick it's butt. 
I started walking with a friend yesterday. Haven't done much walking in 7 months let alone to do it for exercise. To think I was once a runner, body builder and an avid exercise buff. I dream of these days coming back to me again. I refuse to get rid of my exercise equipment in my home.....bike, eliptical, pilates machine, pilates bar and my all time fav "torso track" the best ab machine I ever tried. If I sell these I am giving up on what I am all about. I look at them with hope for my future. Anyhow back to walking.....we took the dogs for a walk or should I say the dogs took us walking. I huffed & puffed my way but I did it. Returned home and collapsed after a good meal and then the pain set in. The worst symptom of my MS for many years has been horrible muscle spasms which are like a giant charley horse in every muscle from your calf down through your foot which actually happens all at once pulling each muscle away from the bone and you can see the individual muscles take shape and tighten up. They have a mind of their own and all the screaming, crying in the world will not help. It is painful. It does help to be able to stand on your foot and try to make it lie flat on the floor but the trick is getting yourself to a standing position. They are paralyzing. They leave you unable to move at all no matter how hard you try. Crying does help. I have had full grown 200 pound men turn into wimpy, scared, panicked people when this happens with them around. They feel helpless to me and no man wishes to not be able to help their lady.  But the spasms are so painful and obvious that you can not hide them. I have had full grown men cry along with me. So this walking  thing, which I wish to continue doing because my muscles in arms and legs have lost a lot of strength in the past 7 months, is going to become a priority right now for me. 
Upon getting the spasms I remembered an oil I learned to make 27 years ago to help. I always had a jar on hand. Now I will start making it once again. Here is the recipe if any of you wish to make it. It is not only good for MS but any type of muscle soreness. 

  • fill jar 3/4 full with extra virgin olive oil
  • add dried chamomile, thyme,yarrow, sheperd's purse,St John's wort and sage
  • place in sun (indoors is best on a table which gets sun) 
  • once each day invert the jar so that herbs mix with the oil
  • sit upright once again
  • do this for 14 days so that the herbs infuse with the oil. 
  • rub on sore or spasm area
  • this will help immensely, but you may smell like a pizza for a bit!
So today I go to my cupboard and see what all I have and make a list of the herbs not on hand and I order some online from a herb shop. This oil will keep for many years.Do not refrigerate, leave it sit on your shelf in the bathroom or on your night stand. The longer it is around the better it becomes. Do not remove the herbs, they settle to the bottom so they will not interfere with what you use. A mason jar works the best. Preferably the smaller ones used for jelly as they have a wide neck and you can just put your hand in and get what you need. Make a batch today....even if you don't have MS...I am sure most of you get sore muscles or cramps once in a while.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Day 28 is over.......

Sure do wish my fingers were moving that quickly!.....Glad to say though that my 28 days of the tiny, tiny pills are behind me. As time went on and the pills decreased each day my body slowly began to go back to it's normal shape and size. Tenderness and bloating are behind me for now. POISON....that is the only way I can describe what the steroids did to my physical body. Mentally they took me for a ride also. It exploded a whole new arena of problems with my body I never had all my life. To fix one set of problems, or should I say bring relief to me, the tiny, tiny pills took a path I did not like. I must say this one more time, if it were not for the fact my vision was being affected tremendously at the time from the MS, I would not have chosen steroids. There is no quick fix for MS, only alleviated or lessen the symptoms (hopefully), there is no fixing the damage done. But perhaps you may slow it down or halt it in it's present state. My hope lies there.....that I get no worse....that I may get back to doing things I love to do. Physical things...not just writing and thinking. More books will be born because of this....I do know that fact. Everything I experience in life has brought me people who are somehow connected to what I have been through...we share a common bond....God keeps sending them to me...so I will write if that is what He wishes for me. Unless you wear the shoes you have no idea....My footprints are becoming the blueprint for those entering the same path in life I have traveled. So more or less, my illness has not been in vain. For I have learned (and still learning) much and I have much to share. Open, honest, nothing to hide.....all the things about MS or perhaps another illness you can relate with me.....things your doctor or nurse will not tell you....they probably have no clue. Why? Because they haven't worn the shoes.
So, you might be wondering, did they work? The pain in the eye is gone, the sight blurs from time to time still, field vision is still bad, I still have all my other symptoms of MS going on. I would say no they did not work....but the pain in eye is gone so I can not fully say that. But I will say the steroids left me with alot more than I had wrong before....heartburn, a few pounds where I did not want them, puffy face, irritability....but I am hoping to rid these from my life shortly. It is time for their stay to be over. These things I can tell are different.....BUT......what does my liver look like? What damage has been done? Are my kidneys ok? Tiny, tiny pills.....don't think I will opt for them again....unless of course if my eyes are involved. 

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Have some fun then pay for it later....

Yes that is the story behind MS. Sometimes you get so used to not having energy and hurting that when you do push to try to do something you love...like getting out of the house for a weekend drive and seeing how the rest of the world is living.....you forget that you just may have a price to pay when you get back home.  Not every time is the same reaction from your body either. 
Yesterday was a wonderful day out with a friend to the wine taste and today my body keeps reminding me of it. It will pass. Just a bit intense feeling right now. REST. Yes, if I have learned anything from my friend "MS" it need REST. So change all my plans in my mind today and REST. NAP...EAT...REST. The cat and I are loving it today for what it is worth.
This morning I began another lower dosage of the tiny, tiny pills. 1 tab 2x for 3 days. Maybe this is also part if the reason for the tingling, quivering, shaking, twitching, weakness, fatigue, blurry eyes I am having. Who knows? I just know my body is in shock from the toxic pills.....In shock from my trip....In shock from a little bit of fun. But....yes it was worth every second of it and it is worth every ache, pain & sleepy eyed feeling I am having. I would do it again in a heart beat! LIVE.....you must live your life to the fullest for you while you are here. Whether it is REST you may need....FUN you may need...LOVE you may need....JOY you may need. ...PEACE you may need. Decide what you NEED the most in your life, even if you are not with illness.  Because LIFE just isn't LIFE without LIVIN' IT! 
HAPPY PALM SUNDAY EVERYONE!!!!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

WHAT DO YOU SAY TO PEOPLE WHO MAKE YOU FEEL BADLY?

Today's dosage of steroids consisted of 1 tiny, tiny pill 4x a day. Must say body is responding much better to a lower dosage. Bloating is going away in tummy. Feeling of uncomfortable in my own skin is easier. On the end of the road now. Only 11 more days to go. Still not sleeping at night, only but a couple hours. But I did have 1 night with 8 hours sleep. Tired when I do anything. But getting through the day. 
The problem at hand now is not so much what these pills are doing to me. I am adjusting. But I have a couple people who are not so nice right now. I will never understand why some people must get you while you are already down. Is it that they lack of anything to say so they just make a "butthead" of themselves?  I have been told "wow...your face is round"! "Is that what they call moon face"? I have been asked "just how much weight have you gained"? and I have been told. "You are never going to loose the weight". Well as I said a few days ago, I have only gained about 6-8 pounds which I could easily use. But as the dosage is being decreased I have noticed I have lost a couple pounds. Is it because I am naturally thin that people have to let me know they noticed I rounded out? My son and my true friends are the only ones (and my inlaws) who have not been overly critical of me. I would never say such things to anyone, especially a person trying to get better. Well that is my only "demon" I am facing today. So other than that "LIFE IS GOOD"! I am thankful for those who must point out my flaws at this time...just makes me give thanks to the Chinese man who said to me recently at his restaurant..."is that you"? he also said when he found out about the meds and MS being flared up..."Your face is not moon shaped...you look younger...less wrinkles". Got to love him! He was right...the puffiness did take away a few wrinkles around my mouth. I earned those wrinkles....but if I have received a temporary lift...then so be it! I would rather be told kindly I looked younger than to be told by people who consider themselves my friends that I will never loose my 8 pounds or round face. 
Once again...LIFE IS GOOD!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Sleep....Glorious Sleep!

Yes last night this was me! I slept 8 hours with only waking 2x for a trip to the bathroom! Has to be the fact I went from 25 tiny, tiny pills per day over 2 weeks ago to now 6 tiny, tiny pills each day. I am looking forward to more of these restful times to help heal my body. The body needs sleep. It needs rest. This is when cells are rejuvenated and help can come to it. You mind, body and spirit are renewed when we sleep. If we abuse it with no sleep or restful sleep how can it fix itself? Or at least try. We were designed that way by the Almighty Man Above. 
I am sure my hormone levels are also out of whack from the steroids. I hope these get in track because I don't like "grumpy" hanging for a ride on my shoulder. Being a small frame woman (tall but small frame) not much meat on my bones all my life, I think my body is in culture shock. Too much.....too soon! Too much meds, too much weight for it to know how to handle it. And I will have to admit here...too much stress of worry (which I have been working on) where is MS taking me. Will I need another surgery for the fall I took in December? Can my body handle another surgery in 1 year? (3) Even now weighing in at 136  today, that is not much weight for a 5'7" woman to maintain if surgery will run stress on her system. Will I make it financially due to long term disability now? Where is my life going? These are some (there are more) questions rolling in my mind at times. I dismiss them as soon as they pop in there. I have to. I can not spend my time thinking about what will I do...I will do what is necessary to survive. It is my nature. It will be fine. It always is. God always takes care of me. It is His promise to me...to us....

So don't be anxious about tomorrow. God will take care of your tomorrow too. Live one day at a time. Matthew 6:34

I will turn it over to Him....because He knows best. My need is to concentrate on wellness coming to me again. Not only to survive....but to be victorious! This is my plan.


Monday, April 11, 2011

Side Affects Of Steroids.....


I have compiled a list of side affects which I have found to be said to happen when you take steroids.I shall be a pretty picture if they all hit me. Not counting on that though. Out of the list of over 20 I have about 11 going on that I know of. What it is doing to my internal organs I will never know. But in fact I do know that at this point my vision is a tad better than 2 weeks ago when beginning this program, it comes and goes with the blurriness. There is no price tag on vision. I will do all I can to take care of my eyes. Blindness with the MS has always been my biggest fear. Not that I worried about it daily or momentarily but looking towards the future when having everyday blurriness being regular in your life you can not help but wonder where is this going for me. I cast it to the Lord. He is in charge of me. But yet I need to do the wise things available to me also. They say carrots are good for your eyes. All my life I have loved carrots and ate plenty of them. Over 35 years ago I started drinking carrot juice, being the health fanatic (nut) that I am. When getting MS 27 years ago I followed a nutritionists plan and did what he said to do with mega doses of carrot and green juices. I am now on my second top of the line juicer in 35 years. I believe it can work. But at this time the MS has the optic nerve in my eye swollen and causing field vision problems & blurriness for me. So along with my juicing program (remember from past post....natural juicing, eating and supplements got me into a remission for 19 years of the MS) and healthy eating plans I pop the tiny, tiny pills this month.
I found out today that steroid use can affect the endocrine system along with all other possible disadvantages it has to offer me. Isn't that just "sweet". 
My doctor is having my blood tested again this week, so I will trust that the healthy eating I have done in my past and I am doing at this time will keep the unseen to me functioning number right where the doc wants them. Life. Could be worse. Of that I am very thankful. Feel like a guinea pig? Yes I do. But I am not out there alone.....the whole world is one. Practice medicine....that is what they do..."practice". What does that mean to you? Not criticizing the world of medical knowledge because I need them now. Just hoping I have put my faith and trust in the right doctors. I am sure I have. I would fire one of them if I though I had not. That is my right as a patient, they work for me. I have a wonderful team of 5 specialists and 2 physical therapist (well 3) I am seeing at the moment. They are all working together to get me back to where I need to be....or at least stop the progression. For that I am grateful to modern medicine. Incorporated with my nutritional knowledge from working with my nutritionist many years ago when this all began and paying very close attention to my bodies reaction to all that is going on and most importantly to God Almighty in the highest Heavens to hear my prayers and the prayers of others and sustain me through this time....this is what I want to be....a picture of health once again. Inside and out. These things will get me to the other side. Where I need to be. Where I want to be.
Healthy once more.
The list I gathered is way to long.....but it was a real eye opener for me.So now I rest, watch and plan....my attack when off this course of 28 day of tiny, tiny pills.
moodiness, puffy face, water retention, weight gain, muscle weakness, bruise easily, thinning of skin, poor wound healing, acid reflux, increased appetite, insomnia....these are the ones I have....there are many more which could surface....which I do hope not.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

SUNSHINY DAY!

After spending over 80% or more of the last 6 months in my bed due to surgery, MS flareup & b12 deficiency fatigue all hitting me at the same time I finally  took myself out of the bed and into the living room for the day.The only times I were to leave the last 6 months have been to go to my doctor appointments or PT appointments. Friends have taken me when necessary and a couple times we did enjoy lunch out. But for the most part I have  been in the bed. Thank God for doctor appointments, even if at the times I needed to leave it was difficult mostly. It did get me fresh air and circulation. I am a firm believer that if you don't use it you loose it. 
The sunshine and 80 degree weather today did help stir me a bit. I wiped the marble table off on the deck and made a dish of sliced strawberries, banana's, blueberries topped with sunflower kernels. Sat with my bottle of water, cup of coffee and a magazine and relaxed and enjoyed my mid morning snack. It was wonderful to feel the warmth of the sun on my face and the breeze in my hair. These are the little things in life that mean so much to me. To hear the sounds of birds in the background and just be happy to have the time to enjoy it. What a beautiful Sunday it was. 
The rest of the day was spent relaxing with the magazines and laptop on the couch where I have not spent much more than a couple hours in the last 6 month. Needless to say the cat, being a creature of habit, was confused. At one point I noticed her at the top of the stairs like she was waiting for me to go to bed. Well I am back in the bed, glad to be here. Sometimes you just need to lie in your bed to feel comfy. So my exercise for the week will be to make sure I get downstairs for a few hours each day and if able to I will enjoy some moments on the deck...yes, all these things I so loved to do all my life....they will get me where I need to be again. I can not forget this. I never wish to forget where I have come from. I wish to be there again. And I will.



ACID REFLUX...caused from medications to make other things better!

Acid reflux....never had it in all these years. I take pride in my body that my "plumbing" has been the best functioning of all for all these years. Yes, healthy eating, exercise and trying to avoid stress of all sorts has been a great part of why. But now, at a low time in my life acid reflux is moving in. All because of the tiny, tiny pills. 
When I was pregnant with my son 34 years ago I experienced at times heartburn. I thought it was frequently, but thinking back now as my chest tightens and burns, pressure builds like I will have a heart attack and sometimes..gross (food will not go down quickly enough) I wonder how do some people even get through the day feeling like this! No wonder America is miserable in its tracks. Grouchy people everywhere.The side affects these tiny, tiny pills are causing me are at time uncomfortable, unbearable and unwantable (if that is a word). Somehow it is seeming to me it is much better to go through life experiencing my MS symptoms and learning to adjust and move on with them as best I can and be thankful I do not have these other unwanteds. 
So far total weight gain from the steroids is 8 lbs. I could use it. My son says I look healthy. My body feels like an alien has taken over. It is not the body I have had for 58 years. I weigh 6 lbs more than I did when I gave birth to my son 34 years ago. Then I weighed in at 132. No I do not look prego....just a bit more meat on my bones. I am not vain. I just like to feel comfortable in my own skin. I am on the downward spiral of pills this week. About 13 more days or so to go. Half way through. I am wide awake most of the day & night averaging 2 hours sleep per day. I want to sleep but the tiny, tiny pills are keeping my eyes wide open. But with the MS & b12 fatigue I am tired and have weak muscles and get extremely exhausted when attempting to do something productive or even not productive, just moving is tough. So I think and I write. Yes, next book getting on its way to the publisher. Perhaps there by months end for sure. 
I am not complaining. These blogs are for helping others if they are experiencing such things as I. The blogging is also for those who like to keep in touch with me as to how I am doing but just don't know how to approach me. That's ok about not knowing how to ask me. Not everyone can easily talk on these subjects. Ask me anything. But I wear my heart on my sleeve and I don't mind sharing. Mentally I am well...plumbing & mind state are my strongest features. It is the old shell of a body which is not participating properly. But I aim to change all of that. In time. Time. Such a small word but so vast. We either have little or lots. We waste it or we use it wisely. 
So acid reflux.....you are on your way out! I pray to God no damage is being done so I have to suffer its effects on my plumbing for the rest of my life...all because of the tiny, tiny pills to help my MS.
Crankiness is not my virtue.

Friday, April 08, 2011

EYES WIDE OPEN

I do suppose that 2 hours of sleep are better than none. Although I will love getting back to my 8-10 hours a night once again someday soon, I hope. Moodiness did not visit me yesterday. Hyper-talking did. Is that a word? I was all wound up and wanted to talk all day. Also not quite like me...a bit but not really. My son and I had a nice long conversation last evening. We did laugh about my freaking out on him....neither one of us could remember even what I said or why, but we laughed a lot about it being so out of character for me. Funny what drugs will do to a person. We talked of future and past (a tiny bit past). Our talks are always good. What would I do without him in my life? I am thankful we have always been close. It is hard to imagine otherwise. I truly am blessed. His father surely has missed the path in life to really and truly get to know the depth, talents & joys of his son. His lose...our gain.
So today's dosage of tiny, tiny pills will be 2 tab 4x day for the next 3 days. Let's see what this does to my ever changing body inside and out. I am already deciding which cleanse program to use at the end of this month to rid the toxins from the meds from my system. We need healthy tissues rebuilt.  Cleansed in March, dumped steroids in my system in April and May cleanse all over again. I will never give up trying to get where I need to be with my health.Get healthy on the inside and it has to affect the outside. Keep the plumbing running smoothly. Health begins in the colon.
So are the tiny, tiny pills helping......no evidence yet. Time. Everything takes time. That is unless the Healer of all touches me & heals this weary body. I look forward to that day too if it comes to me. In the meantime I am thankful for everything. As of today I am no longer employed. Benefits are due to run out. Cobra will probably be too expensive for me. BUT....I do have someone on my side...you have heard of All State Insurance possibly. Well I have better than that to trust in. I have All Universe, All Omnipotent, All Mighty God, All Mighty Savior, etc on my side to be sure I am covered in ALL areas of my life so I lay this issue of no insurance at the feet of the Throne and trust HE will direct my steps to get what I need to take care of me from this day forward, especially regarding insurance.
I thank HIM in advance.
Enjoy your day! I am starting my weekend early! Time out from blogging & thinking & whining for a few days! See you Monday!

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Prednisone.....fighting with my body

These tiny, tiny pills changing me for better or for ever? Are these super powerful to make me well or so strong they will worsen any part of my being? All the things I disagree with concerning health and wellness I now find at my door. Do I do it for me or do I do it for those I love? Mixed emotions. I never was one much for being confused or having mixed emotions concerning anything in my life before. Before this. I always have been matter of fact and opinionated on my beliefs no matter what the issue. Not stubborn, just believing strongly towards some subjects. Now it is a bit different. I guess you might say I have reached a low, needed to make a decision and the one I am choosing is to at least try the tiny, tiny white pills. Yesterday my dosage was cut back only by 2 pills, from 12 per day to 10. I indeed noticed a slight difference as to the puffiness. It seems it went from bloated, puffy feeling to a lighter feel and more settled within my body. (just as long as it doesn't take up residence here). This morning I feel a bit lighter. So I really do think this is not long term weight but just swollen, tender tissue which is saying "What the _ _ _ _ are your doing to me?" All my years of healthy living and eating and now these little pills are invading my tissues inside and out. Well if they are wrecking havoc on my body and appearance I am hoping that what can't be seen with the naked eye is a war going on inside each spot in my body that needs fighters working hard for it right now. And against all prior belief in medicines which can destroy our livers I am gonna trust this little guy to help me. His stay is short. 17 more days to go and I may never let him back into my life again. I am just thinking that if every few days my dosage is cut back as instructed it may truly work and the conditions of the shell of a body I live in is just temporary. I will be in control. I am in control now, I made the choice to do the tiny white pill, because I hurt so bad and was deteriorating too quickly and possibly for the first time in 26 years with MS frightened at what I was seeing and feeling in my life. It has to be the scariest time ever in my entire life, to know that quite possibly I will not recover, stay the same or get worse. The largest concern is others, I never wish to be a burden to anyone. This will keep me going I do know.
I said to my son just the other day "maybe my dream of retiring at the beach is good for me, since if I fall so much falling in the sand would be easier on me." His response to me was " Mom, you'll just get brush burns". That's my boy! My sense of humor...keeping me laughing at the least expected time. I do love him so. I will take brush burns over broken bones and sprained body parts. So which beach do I decide on? I always wanted to be an old lady at the sea shore picking sea shells and stones the ocean gives us as gifts each day.....I have a plan!
Thanks for listening. I will be fine. No, I will be well 4 ever! Because this is what I feel.
Keep the good foods going down the hatch along with the tiny, tiny pills.
Let's see who wins! I hope it's me.

You might be asking yourself....why is she telling all this?.....well it is my thoughts (since I am having them) there might be others out there who do not express themselves such as I and sitting around wondering all these puzzlements which I am experiencing. If 1 tiny thing I might spurt out on this blog can turn a light on in someone's mind and help then I will share all I am experiencing concerning every aspect of my illness. Not just the healthy, positive ones, but also the ones that make us who we are and cause even more confusion to go on in our minds and bodies. It is my thoughts...you never really know until you wear the person's shoes. And I will write about each step of the way from my own standpoint and affect it is having on me.

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Steroids and Me

Maybe it is not proper English my saying Steroids and Me...but nothing seems quite proper with me or my body right at this point. I am going to write briefly, as not to bore you, with my recent (as of right now, last 11 days) steroid trip. Taking steroids possibly because I do trip (and fall down), taking steroids because my field vision in my left eye (my good eye) is faulty and vision in both eyes are blurry.These are on going symptoms of my MS which come and go as they darn well please. It is how my MS first started when I was 32, now at 58 it wants to live with me again and affect my other eye. It can go away, but will it? I can only pray. And now do as my doctor's say because blindness has always been a fear of my MS. Yes My MS....I take claim to it, because it is when you take ownership to something you can then take control over it and that is my plan for this dirty devil who wants to hang out with me each and every day and now each and every moment of my life. I have a wonderful life to live, I am still young and I am not going to go down easy. So MS LOOKOUT! But right now let's talk of what my body is doing in response to the +100 steroid pills I have taken in the last 10 days. Eighteen more days to go.....is it any wonder I feel puffy...puffy face, puffy tummy (most people would say no, but I know it is there), acid reflex (never had this all my life) eat all the time (always did do this, only now I can actually feel the food making my tummy puffy) POISON....is this what I am doing to myself? How can this possible be good for me, I ask myself. I do know that when your eyesight and your movement is affected and you don't want it to be that way sometimes modern medicine needs to be surrendered to. But just how much do I allow myself to endure? Keep eating the healthy foods, keep praying, keep taking my nourishment through supplements and keep holding on to the hope & a prayer that this too will pass & it is just a stage for some odd reason and I will be once again on my path down "remission road". I will never, never, never give up.
So yesterday my good friend Barbie took me to my doctor's appointment. Doctor and I had nice talk. I am dragging my right foot when I walk so he is sending me to PT for a month to concentrate on my gait. I told him a friend gave me a cane and I use it to get in and out of bed, I thought he would tell me don't do that, but he said it was probably a good idea since I have fallen down the stairs 2x in March and fall when getting up from a seat sometimes. I walk into walls, who doesn't? But I do it more frequently than I have in the last several years. So to protect myself, TEMPORARILY, I will do what is asked of me.Not just for me but for those out there like my son, my friends, my cat...those who depend on me, depend on me to not just be who I am, was, are...but depend on me to be fun to be around, happy to be alive and wanting to do the fun things in life again. I can not give up hope ever, if even just for them because they all mean so much to me. They have shown me true love and friendship, especially in the last 6 months. I will be fine, God is on my side..."no weapon formed against me can be used against me. " I am a child of The King of Kings.
So back to the doc & shopping outing. I had told doc that the steroids were helping my eyes a bit I had noticed. That was at 11:30am but 2pm while standing in line at a dept store my eyes were so blurry I could not see, my left eye had pain, I could hardly stand anymore and I felt so weak...AND HUNGRY!!!! Steroids! We had just ate but I wanted everything in the store. I was 124 when starting these steroids and I am now 134, fully dressed. I was 135 when I gave birth to my son in 1977. I have never had a weight problem. I don't plan on keeping one. But I need to give my body some time to do it's magic with these poison pills I am taking. I really think that when people say they gain weight from steroids they may in fact be a bit true, but from my bodies stand point I feel (and I mean I feel what is going on inside me) It is more puffy and bloated. I do believe that as the dosage cuts back during its course that a couple weeks after I am off the drug my old body will come to visit and perhaps stay with me again. It is my nature to be thin, it is what I am used to. Right now I feel like someone has invaded me. So today I begin a lesser dosage throughout the day. I will continue to rest when not at the doctors or PT. I will try to learn from this situation which has visited me. And when enough is enough I will push to do the things I used to do. I have to never, never give up. Life is too precious. Life is too short. And I love it so! And I will live it either how I used to or pretty darn close to it. I have nothing else to do about it right now but to think positive & stay in tuned with what is going on with me.
I hope today's blog was not too depressing for you. It helps me to just spit this stuff out as it pops into my head. My memory....that is for another days bloggin!
Love to all!
Live to Love so you can Love Living
UCanBeWell4Ever.......hang on to this hope!
Gabbriella

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Strength training for MS

The link above will take you to a video on strength training for MS. Back in my late 20's thru age 32 I was an avid body builder using free weights and Nautilus equipment along with running, aerobics & biking on a rigid schedule while maintaining a very disciplined lifestyle especially when eating my meals. I was a bit out of balance at the time. The more workouts I did the better I felt and the better I felt the more active I became. The endorphins in my mind were on over drive. I sometimes think that quite possibly the MS came to visit so I would learn a balance in my life.
Once diagnosed with the MS my life started changing, I now see for the better. Yes I was very, very fit. But I was so busy running, lifting & jumping that the things I had always appreciated in life like the ocean, sand, trees, flowers, bees, birds, sky, sunsets,sunrises were just becoming a blur to me as I would be on my way to a hike, walk, run, gym or to the pool.All these things were always so important to me since I was a little girl. When Ms came to live with me it was then I slowed down and not only admired God's creation but had the time to look so very deeply into not only the beautiful sights created but to also become alive and hear the sounds that nature makes. From the stillness of the sun rise to the roaring of the ocean waves, I finally knew and witnessed more so the power of God behind it all. And I fell in love all over again with the earth. My young son age 2 at the time was always along side me when hiking, walking or at the pool. He was not left out of the fun. Most exercise was done at 5am while he & hubby slept. When he was 4 he was old enough to go with us to the gym and sit on a large round bench and color while he watched us grunt & grown as we lifted and circuit trained. He would gaze his young eyes at us at times and only now I know he was thinking "what is wrong with them". He does not lift weights or do the things we liked to do but he does walk & hike. In fact he has a set of legs & calves on him to die for. All from walking everywhere. When he was 3 we would walk to a park 3 towns away from us to just have lunch and play in the park. His little legs carried him everywhere, no complaints. It is the one good habit I am glad he has carried on with him in life. But, back to me & MS. My doctors 26 years ago attributed my MS not leaving my body very damaged at first due to the condition my body was in at the time the disease manifested itself in me. They also attribute a low fat diet and one high in natural fruit & vegetable juices and mega supplements controlled by a certified nutritionist as to a very good explanation as to how I got into a remission and was able to function as normally for myself as I did. My body was in excellent shape when the disease hit. And for this I am thankful.
I have tried from time to time to start weight training again or yoga or Pilate's but once my body gets overheated or stressed from the weights I need to stop the programs. Sometime the duration for me doing this was only 3 or 4 days then a week or 2 rest. Then over time with having to work a full time job and during my divorce 3 jobs I was to worn out to exercise. So now that I have come out of remission in the last several years and now since surgery I have relapsed to a state of which I have not been in many years I now am hoping to bring exercise back into my life and hopefully rebuild. It will take time I know but the thought process is there, the desire to do so never has left me it has always been a burning passion within my soul to be free, active, running, jumping & living my life as full as I can. I will do this again. Maybe not as accomplished as before but I will surely try.
At the time of my training all those years ago I weighed 118 lbs of solid muscle, I had 5% body fat and was able to bench press on my own 135 lbs. I could squat 165 lbs on my own. Load the bars myself and load up those 50 lb weights on that bar. Those days are history for me I think as today in PT as I am going for a fractured humerus and inflamed and possibly torn rotator cuff injury from a fall I could only do a seated shoulder press with 2 lbs on the plate. MS along with pain from injury and hand surgery which is still healing.......a very long road ahead of me. But I will try. I need to remind myself daily that I am no longer that young energetic woman I am a 58 year old woman with a neurological disorder that I need to monitor. This may be a bit hard for me. But I will try.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Optic Neuritis...my worst nightmare coming back!

http://www.ms-multiple-sclerosis-symptoms.com/Optic-neuritis.html

In my research for my latest symptom to return or might I say worsen since the day 26 years ago when I was 1st hit with the MS I came across this article above an as disheartening as it is to me it totally makes me feel much better because I now know I am not imagining things and I have a real worry on my hands. A worry way to heavy for me at this time so with my doctors wisdom to treat me with steroids(which I have avoided like the plague) I rely not only on them but on God's mighty touch to my eye and other ailments to bring me back to where I need to be.
Do not let this article scare you if indeed you have MS or know someone who does. Just be more aware of your (their) symptoms and immediately go to an eye doctor, even if it is for a checkup for glasses. Sometimes they are the ones to diagnose before your specialist for MS. It is only because they have the tools to do so right in their office. I had a test called a fields test and I am so thankful I did.
May God the Healer of all be with you each and every day as I know he is with me and gives me the strength I need to proceed in life.
Thank you Lord!
Have a great day everyone.....

Sunday, March 27, 2011

VERY HELPFUL LINK

http://www.msactivesource.com/ms-progression.xml


Early Symptoms of MS

http://multiplesclerosisearlysymptoms.com/multiple-sclerosis-causes-symptoms-and-types/


I am now on a round of steroids for 25 days to try to relieve the eye problems and the falling down problems along with my muscle weakness. I must say this has been the toughest 6 months thus far with my MS in a while. My fatigue has gotten worse each and every day for the past 4-5 years and is now limiting me quite a bit in my life. This is only a season I keep telling myself. Having this disease for the past 26+ years I do know it is possible to have some good days ahead. So now I must do as the doctors say, but also keep on natural juicing & eating proper foods, and REST...this is my bodies way of saying to me "slow down" for now & heal. Positive thinking is the best medicine for me and caring loving friends & a wonderful son who cares so much for me is my strength right now. "Seasons come & Seasons go" I may have MS ...BUT....it doesn't have my permission to hang around.

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

Spring Time Cleanse







Spring time is a wonderful time to clean house. Not only your home you live in but also the home you live within. Your body. Your gift from God. Life. Sustaining a healthy body sometimes can be difficult even if we know the ins and outs of good health. It is in our genes. It is affected by our environment. It is ruined daily by the stresses physically, emotionally and mentally we deal with. But the "Good News" is that the human body was designed by its Creator to heal itself. If only we catch it in time. Good health should be a maintenance program for us. But in the hectic world we live in sometimes we get lost in the midst & find ourselves just going through the motions of each day looking forward to the weekends & then again Monday is here to do it all over again.
As a gift to myself today I begin "my spring cleanse". Back in the day when nutrition & health were new to me (at 24 years of age) when I learned of cleansing at a health seminar, I did it in the spring and in the fall. I was a stay at home wife then and time was irrelevant to me. I could very easily fit what I needed to do into my life each day. Then at age 32 I developed MS and sought out a nutritionist and took the cleansing steps a bit further. What I discovered in my body then was not only could cleansing leave you feeling lighter, more energy and healthier, it also could place a sick body into a remission or healed state. As time went on & I divorced in my late 40's and working full time (sometimes 3 jobs) the ability to be able to cleanse properly was no longer as easy to obtain as it was when not working. I still would purchase the cleanse kit and use it sparingly, as you really need to be able to run to the bathroom when necessary and that is not always possible at work. I tried to schedule it during a vacation time from work. But that meant staying home and not going on a trip. I managed over the last 14 years to continue to cleanse but not the way I would choose. When you cleanse you also should rest your body. Well with the MS flared up the last several months, I now have time to rest. (when not running to doctor appointments).Two weeks ago my Jack Lalanne Juicer came and I began my regimen of carrot juice. Last week I introduced a wedge of cabbage juiced into each glass of carrot juice I made. Cabbage juice will purify the GI tract and cleanse the body of parasites, fungi & other pathogens. Cabbage juice is pleasant tasting, not at all like I suspected. Today being March 1, with spring just around the corner, I have chosen to begin my cleanse. I have purchased a Nature's Secret Ultimate Cleanse Kit. and will take my journey to a healthier body just one more step closer. How do you know if you need to cleanse? Well if you have episodes of bloating, brain fog, sluggishness or low vitality these are warning signs given to you to make you aware that your body needs a tune up. During a cleanse your body will begin to unload toxic waste from your liver and kidneys which cause some of these symptoms. Your blood will be purified. You will remove damaged cells and tissue waste. Loss of excess water. What will you end up with? Smoother & easier digestion. Increased elimination of bowel movements (2-3) a day. Slight weight loss. And most of all a sense of well being and vitality.
So today I begin. You should consider this also. Think on it.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

I had almost forgotten!

Several years ago while working at a local health food store I read in a monthly publication that L-Carnitine is great for vegetarians or anyone who did not consume much meat proteins. So coming from a body-builder background (in my 20's & early 30's I was an avid body builder) I decided to try this amino acid to give me more energy to work the 3 jobs I was doing at the time. 1 full time job and 2 part time jobs. I also wanted to keep my MS at bay in it's remission it had been in for several years. My diet did not contain red meats as I had years before omitted them from my diet on the path to my remission of the MS. When I took this supplement, which I did for several years, I noticed a remarkable difference in my energy level. The only reason after a few years of taking it that I quit was the fact it became expensive to keep up with and over time I went to working only 1 job like normal people. The affect of the l-carnitine lasted several years. Could lack of this be a cause or 1 of the causes of my body coming out of remission? I feel that it was a combination of factors. The largest factor being that living alone & supporting myself I was no longer able to monitor my rest periods and stress from everyday living on my own. It started to take it's toll on my body. Your body gives you warning signs and if we do not obey them it will break down until we have to pay attention to it & surrender and seek a method to be well again. This is my mission in my own life now....to be well again. So while shopping with my son this past week we entered the vitamin store at the local mall and as I was purchasing my cleanse kit to do the yearly cleanse to get health back in the colon I noticed on the counter the bottle pictured above. I grabbed at it like it was liquid gold! It now sits on my shelf in the kitchen and is being added to my diet each day along with my freshly made carrot juice. On March 1 I will begin the cleanse program. I learned 37 years ago at a health expo that health begins and ends in the colon. You could also say death begins in the colon.
L-carnitine fuels the muscles. L-Carnitine is made in the body from the amino acids lysine and methionine. It increases the use of fat as an energy source by transporting fatty acids. They are then burned to release energy for body functions.It has been suggested to delay the progression of Alzheimer's disease. L-carnitine is found naturally in avocados, breast milk, dairy products, red meats (namely lamb and beef), and tempeh (fermented soybean product). A deficiency of L-Carnitine can cause muscle fatigue, cramps and low blood sugar levels.
It may also help prevent some forms of heart disease.
It may help build muscle.
It may protect against diabetes.
It may protect against liver disease.
It may protect against kidney disease.
It may be considered a diet aid.
It may increase energy and be a help for people with MS.

So I will let you know how this supplement will affect my MS along the way. It is in liquid form and will go to work quickly in the body. I have had 4 b12 shots so far from my doctor for my b12 deficiency. Some would argue against my doing this, but all I have to say to them is this..."you are not me, I am feeling at a very low point in my life physically. I have always been an active person and I can not surrender to this. My body is not assimilating the great foods I give it so I need to do steps to get it working once again, or at least get some energy back, 1 body part at a time. God can heal me in a touch of a miracle.I know this, I believe this, I have received miracles from Him. But He also can use nutrition, supplements along with prayer to make me whole and well again. The key for me is not to be healed and go on my merry way and perhaps forget momentarily where I had been, but sometimes there is a lesson to be learned and knowledge we had known for many years needs to surface in our life and put to good use and continued throughout the rest of our lives to continue to be well.
I know nutrition got my MS into remission years ago & I know it can be once again. L-carnitine is just 1 way to get me there~